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Sep 29, 2018

How Your Man Treats His Mother Reveals How He’ll Treat You

“You can tell how a man will treat his wife by the way he treats his mother,” – this has been a controversial and beguiling yardstick to judge a man. Yet, somehow many men may be aware that much of their notions about womanhood and what a woman is, comes from the first woman they ever interact with – their mothers.
This layered and life-defining relationship evolves over time. Children normalize the behaviors they see everyday, and are impacted by the conflicts they face and resolve. Moreover, mothers’ attachment styles and their nurtured behaviors can hold life-long impacts on men. However, there are no clear black or white when it comes to behavior towards their mother and its impact on their dating.
That being said, nobody would want a partner who enjoys abuse or is too damaged to sustain a loving relationship. However, there are signs that can forecast the possible behaviors a man will show in a romantic relationship, and these signs can be observed in the ways your love interest treats his mother.

If he grew up with a nurturing mother

Men who grew up with a mother who provided a lot of love, kindness, attention, affection and respect will learn to provide the same things towards his romantic partner. If your man has been used to having a very close and loving relationship with his mother, it will be a lot easier for him to develop similar types of relationships romantically.
It will not be a stretch for him to be loving, to be attentive, to be affectionate and all that good stuff. With men who grew up around a strong and respectful woman, you will find yourself being respected the same amount. The only possible downside to dating men who have developed a close attachment to his mother is that he might have a slight tendency to be a mommy’s boy.
By mommy’s boy, we mean, someone who often cannot say ‘no’ to his mother and/or someone who needs to constantly ask for his mother’s opinion. If this is the case, then you will need to have a talk with him about it, but if at the end of the day he still respects and values you as his partner then their relationship should not be a problem.

If he isn’t that close to his mother

Men who grew up with mothers that did not show a lot of affection nor communicated their love regularly will tend to grow up struggling to be open in romantic relationships. They will still have respect for women in general and be able to create friendships with them, however, whenever things would get too close or a woman wants commitment from them – they will tend to get scared and create problems as a way to end the relationship.
These men were not used to receiving affection or love from their mother, therefore to receive it as well as give it to their partner is seen as new territories to them. If you are dating someone who isn’t that close to his mother, you might have a bit of a challenge ahead in terms of getting him to open up to you, to be vulnerable, and to be committed emotionally.
You might even have to prove your love to them because they might also lack in self-esteem or self-worth, which can be difficult if who you are looking for is someone that is already secure in themselves. It is not impossible to get men who grew up this way to learn to love and receive love, it will just take a bit more work from your end.

If he isn’t close at all and often does not like his mother

Men who grew up with mothers who did not show any form of love (or who even abused them) will grow up disrespecting women and doing what they can to cause pain to those who actually want to be with them. They like these will develop the perception that all women are no good and are only a source of pain because that was what he learnt from his mother growing up.
Men like these are the ones that continuously show disrespect to women closest to them and even those that they don’t know. In romantic relationships, they will do what they can to hurt you, betray you and destroy your self-worth as well as confidence. These are the type of men who you will end up having toxic relationships with. You may think you are in love with him because you see the potential he has to be a great partner, however in reality you find yourself getting hurt over and over again, because he simply does not know how to love you the way you deserve to be loved.
It is very difficult for them to learn to love because they themselves were deprived of love growing up. You cannot give what you did not receive yourself after all, right? If you are dating someone like this, understand that you cannot be the one to ‘change’ him as he must learn by himself to make peace with the past, his childhood and the mother that caused him so much pain growing up. You cannot give him what his mother should be giving him and that is definitely not your role.


It is good to pay attention not only to the way your partner treats his mother, but also the relationship that they have together. If your partner is very respectful to her, speaks kindly of her and to her, helps her out with things, listens to her opinion and still able to do all of the same things to you, then you have yourself a definite keeper. However, if you notice your partner having an unhealthy relationship with his mother, talks badly of her and to her, shouts at her and disrespects her, be wary of him. If a man could dare to disrespect his own mother, then he certainly will not have any qualms disrespecting you.
This post originally appeared on The bridestory

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