فتاة في نعومة أظافرها أضحت قبل ما يُقرب من تسعة عقود أصغر أم في التاريخ البشري المسجل.
إنها الطفلة لينا ميدينا، الفتاة من قرية جبلية نائية في بيرو، التي أصبحت أصغر أم في التاريخ بعد أن تسببت واقعة اغتصاب، لم يُعرف مرتكبها في أن تحمل بين أحشائها الصغيرة طفلًا، وُلد وهو يصغر عن أمه فقط بخمس سنوات من العمر.
بدأت في عام 1933، حينما لاحظت والدة لينا أن معدتها تنمو بعد أن اشتكت الطفلة من الألم.
وخشي الأطباء في البداية من أن النتوء الكبير كان ورمًا ، لكن سرعان ما أدركوا أن الطفلة البالغة من العمر خمس سنوات كانت حاملًا في شهرها السابع، حيث تبين أن لينا لديها أعضاء تناسلية ناضجة وعانت من حالة تسمى “البلوغ المبكر”.
وبحسب ما ورد لاحظت والدتها أن ثديي ابنتها قد اكتمل نموهما في سن الرابعة.
وذكر تقرير طبي آخر من البيرو أن الطفلة بدأت الحيض في عمر ثمانية أشهر فقط ، وهو ما تعارض مع ادعاءات الأم آنذاك، التي قالت أن ذلك في عمر الـ3 سنوات ، وانجبت الطفلة لينا طفلًا وزن 6 أرطال، وأُطلق عليه اسم جيراردو تكريمًا للطبيب الذي أنجبه.
ولم يتم الكشف وقتها عمن اغتصب لينا، وتسبب في حملها، واعتُقل والدها تيبوريلو بعد ولادتها بتهمة اغتصاب ابنته، وهو ما نكره بشدة، وأفرج عنه بعد ذلك لعدم كفاية الأدلة.
وأظهرت الدراسات أن الفتيات اللاتي يتعرضن للإيذاء الجنسي قد يمرون في سن البلوغ بشكل أسرع من غيرهن، وأن البلوغ المبكر قد يتسارع بسبب مثل هذه الاعتداء الجنسي.
وأكدت الأطباء إن الطفلة حملت عندما كانت في الرابعة من عمرها فقط.
وقال الدكتور إدموندو إيسكوميل، الذي كتب عن القضية في مجلة طبية، إن لينا “لم تستطع إعطاء إجابات دقيقة”، عندما سُئلت عن والد الطفل.
وبسبب صغر سنها، من المحتمل أن الطفلة البالغة من العمر خمس سنوات لم تكن تعرف من المتسبب في حملها، الذي قتل البراءة في عين طفولتها، لكنه أدخلها التاريخ كأصغر أم عرفتها البشرية..
تداولت منذ أيام أخبار عن تهديد من شركة “ميتا ” بتوقف خدمات الفيس بوك والانستجرام واتس آب بسب حسب ما ذكرت صحيفة “الاسبانيول ” بأسبانيا. بتوقف الفيس بوك والانستجرام واتس آب فى قارة أوروبا والعالم وذلك بسبب اللوائح المعقدة التى تطرحها القارة .
وذكرت الصحيفة أنه سرعان بحث الجمهور عن بدائل فى حالة تعقد المشكلة وعدم الوصول إلى حلول .
واضافت الصحيفة .. أن جميع التطبيقات لها منافس بديل وله شهرة كبيرة أيضا ،
واشارت أن تطبيق ريديت منافس قوى للفيس بوك فى قارة أوروبا ، وديسكورد لعشاق الڤيديوهات و الشات ، وأضافت أن توتير من اشهر التطبيقات المنافسة للفيس بوك عبر أنحاء العالم كله .
واوضحت أن بديل واتس آب هو تليجرام ويستخدمه الكثير فى أوروبا ، مشيرا ان بديل الانستجرام هو ” تيك توك”
ويوجد تطبيق “لاين” منتشر بصورة كبيرة داخل قارة آسيا أكثر من دول أوروبا ويستطيع من خلاله انشاء جروبات تضم أكثر من 200 شخص .
By the time children become tweens, they’ve outgrown some of the discipline strategies that worked well when they were younger. The behaviors that require discipline are likely to shift, too, when children turn 10. It’s key to address behavior problems with effective discipline strategies that will help your tween learn the skills they're going to need to thrive during the teen years.1
Illustration by Emily Roberts, Verywell
Typical Tween Behavior
Your tween will likely have replaced baby talk with back-talk and exchanged pint-sized temper tantrums with sulking. That’s all part of their normal development. Tweens face a variety of issues, ranging from hormonal changes and physical growth to social pressure and increased academic work.2
It’s also normal for tweens to begin to spend more time with friends, rather than the family. So, don’t be surprised when your 10-year-old wants to spend the night at their friend’s house, rather than having pizza and watching a movie with you.3
Some tweens really begin to shine academically, while others grow painfully aware that they struggle more with school than their peers. It’s also common for tweens to have a push-and-pull relationship with self-esteem. They may seem to lack humility one minute, saying things like, “I am the smartest kid in the whole school,” only to then add, “No one likes me.”3
It’s also common for tweens to become self-conscious. One child may feel insecure because their friends are developing faster while another may feel embarrassed they're developing earlier than their peers.2
A large part of this uncertainty has to do with a growing interest in how others perceive them. Tweens worry about what their friends think of them as well as what other students in the school think.2
Common Behavior Challenges
Tweens are trying to fit in, look cool, and appear grown-up. So many of them start cursing in an attempt to sound older (or to impress their friends).2
They also may become angry over seemingly small things.4 A bad test grade, an argument with a friend, a rough day on the ball field, or a request to clean a bedroom might set them off. Anger may lead to yelling, sulking, or slamming doors.
A “know-it-all” attitude also may start to emerge during the tween years. While a child’s reasoning and problem-solving skills become more advanced around this age, many tweens think they’re able to do everything on their own.5
So, don’t be surprised if your child says, “I know!” whenever you remind them to pick up their socks or wash their hands before dinner. It’s also common for children around the age of 11 to become argumentative.6
Your child may start to ask questions like, “You said you were only going to talk to Grandma for a few minutes. So why did you stay on the phone for an hour?” or, “You always say it’s not healthy to eat junk food. So why do you keep a bag of chocolate candy on your desk?”
Your tween also may look for loopholes in your rules as well. If you say, “No TV after dinner,” they may try to delay dinner as long as possible so they can watch TV longer. Or, if you tell them to stop watching TV, they may say, “I’m not watching TV. I’m watching my tablet.”
While this pushback is often frustrating for parents and caregivers, it is also developmentally appropriate.2
Discipline Strategies That Work
It’s important to make sure your discipline strategies match your child’s needs. When your child breaks the rules or misbehaves, use approaches that will teach them to make better choices in the future. Use effective methods like the following.7
Create a Behavior Contract
A behavior contract outlines what your child needs to do to earn and keep extra privileges. If they want a smartphone, explain how they could show you when they're ready for that responsibility. Write down the behaviors you’d need to see from them, such as getting their chores done on time and putting away their other electronics without arguing.7
Take Away Privileges
When your child misbehaves, remove a meaningful privilege. Take away electronics for 24 hours or don’t allow them to go to a friend’s house over the weekend. Removing those privileges maintains your authority and sends a message that privileges must be earned.7
Reward Good Behavior
A simple reward system can be key to helping your child stay motivated. Give them an allowance for doing their chores or let them invite a friend to the movies if they get all of their homework handed in on time. Or create a token economy system that helps them practice new behaviors.1
Provide Pre-Teaching
It’s likely your 11-year-old will start doing more things on their own. Before you send them into new situations, talk about the rules and your expectations. Spend some time reviewing how they might handle specific problems that could arise.7
Engage in Problem-Solving
Rather than tell your child what to do, problem-solve with them. Point out a problem and ask for their input by saying, “You keep forgetting to bring your basketball sneakers with you to school. What can we do so you’ll remember?” If they weigh in on the possible solutions, they’ll likely be more motivated to improve their behavior.8
Allow for Natural Consequences
Step aside and let your child make some mistakes. Allow them to face the natural consequences of their behavior. So rather than remind them repeatedly to pack their snack for school, let them forget it one day. Missing out on a snack and feeling hungry might help them remember to pack a snack the next time.8
Preventing Future Problems
In addition to responding to the behavior you don't want your tween to repeat, you can encourage good behavior. A few simple strategies may go a long way in preventing behavior problems before they start.
Avoid Labeling Your Child
Avoid referring to your child as, “the athletic one,” or, “my little artist.' Even labels that are meant to be positive can be harmful. As kids grow and mature, their interests and abilities are likely to shift. Labels could cause your child to feel pressured to live up to the labels you placed on them when they were younger.9
Explain Your Expectations Ahead of Time
Many behavior problems can be prevented by explaining your expectations upfront. So, before your child goes to a movie with a friend or before you drop them off at the town pool, explain your rules ahead of time. Make it clear what you want to see from them and what you expect them to do if they encounter any trouble.6
Talk About the Underlying Reasons for Your Rules
Make sure your child knows why you establish your rules. You don’t want them to think, “I have to go to bed early because my mom is mean.” Instead, teach them that they need to get sleep because it’s good for their brain and their body. When they understand the reasons behind your rules, they’ll be more likely to make good choices when you aren’t there to enforce them.6
Monitor Your Child’s Day-to-Day Activities
Although your tween will likely want a lot of freedom, they won’t yet have the decision-making skills to navigate all of life's challenges. It’s important to keep an eye on their activities. Know who they spend time with, where they are going, and what they're doing online.9
Give Your Child Some Freedom
On the other hand, avoid being overprotective or a lawnmower parent. Kids need a little freedom to make mistakes and solve problems independently. Giving your child choices now can prevent bigger acts of rebellion later.6
Teach Anger Management Skills
Many behavior problems stem from anger management issues. Proactively teach your child how to deal with day-to-day frustrations, such as an unfair call in the soccer game or a last-minute change in plans.10
Make it Clear That Privileges Must Be Earned
Privileges for your 10-year-old can include things like watching TV, playing on a tablet, and being allowed to go to a friend's home. Only allow your child to have those privileges when they behave responsibly.7
Model Proper Behavior
One of the best ways to teach appropriate behavior to your tween is to model good behavior yourself. By setting the best example you can, you show your child that even when times are tough or when emotions run high, it's possible to disagree with others and still show respect. Changing your own behavior may be difficult, but it's the best way to model the behavior you want to see in your child.6
Talking to a tween can feel like an uphill battle sometimes. Whether your tween insists they know everything or they seem to have nothing to say when you ask about your day, don’t give up.
Remind Your Child of the Rules Without Nagging
Be prepared to have conversations about the household rules and the importance of enforcing them. It’s also imperative to continuously address issues like kindness and respect.9
Listen to Your Child’s Opinion
When you show that you value what they think, they'll start to value their own opinion. That’s important because you want them to be a critical thinker who knows they can make healthy decisions.9
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Ask questions about movie characters, what their friends are doing, and how they feel about current events. Ask them how they arrived at their decisions and why they think the way they do. They'll start developing some of their own values and beliefs soon, and many of those might be different from yours. So now is a great time to help them understand why they think the way they do—not simply because that’s what someone told them to think.9
Talk About How to Gain More Freedom
Explain that rules are based on your child’s ability to show you they can handle more responsibility. So, if they get their homework done and do their chores without a reminder, you may be able to trust them to be more independent.
Give Your Child Some Input on the Rules
Ask your child what they think of the rules. Doing so gives them an opportunity to practice expressing their thoughts and ideas in a socially appropriate manner. Just make it clear that the ultimate decision is up to you and you won’t cave to whining, complaining, or disrespectful behavior.6
As your child enters the tween years, new behaviors and stages of development will require new discipline strategies. Effective discipline balances the child's need for greater independence with reasonable age-appropriate rules and boundaries to keep them healthy and safe.
Parenting adolescents comes with some ups and downs. But with open communication and a willingness to learn and grow, parents and tweens can truly enjoy this exciting stage of the child's development.
Whether your 5-year-old says, "You're not the boss of me!" or your 15-year-old says, "You're so stupid. I'm not listening to you," sassy replies are a serious problem. If left unchecked, disrespectful kids will turn into rude adults.
All children are sassy at one time or another. As toddlers, they often talk back in an effort to test limits and gain independence.1 At that age, responding isn't so hard. As your child ages, there are fewer excuses for sass, though nearly all children go through mouthy phases at one time or another. While you want to pick your battles, this rude behavior shouldn’t be tolerated.
How to Stop Sassy Behavior
Teach a sassy child how to be more respectful with these strategies.
Offer a “Deactivating” Response
As much as you want to throw a sarcastic comeback right back to a sassy kid, resist stooping to your child’s level. Instead, respond with a neutral phrase that shows your child that you heard what they said, but you’re not going to react.
Options include, “Thank you for your opinion” or “That’s interesting.” If it’s a teachable moment, use it as such. In response to a sassy comment about doing chores, say “A more appropriate response would be something like, ‘I’ll shut the TV off and come help you right now, Mom.’”2
There are myriad reasons why screen time isn’t ideal for young ones, and it includes their mimicry of sassy characters on TV. They’ll pick up words and phrases from shows (either their own favorites or even one of yours) and parrot it back to you without truly understanding its meaning.
The way to stop that sass? Turn the TV off. You might think children’s TV is probably OK, but when you really listen to some characters’ dialogue, you’ll be shocked at the disrespectful language you hear.3 When you discover characters using sassy comebacks, talk to your child about why saying those things is inappropriate. Say something like, “That was a rude thing to say and it might hurt someone’s feelings. What could he have said instead that would be nicer?”
Take Back the Power
Part of a child’s mouthiness is an attempt to gain a little bit of power in the parent-child relationship. If you respond in an irritated manner, you give their words strength. Instead, take back the power that belongs to the parent. When you tell your child to complete a task, and they respond, “Do it yourself,” don’t allow that to stand. Be clear: “I instructed you to do it, and I expect you to do it as I asked.”
Avoid getting into a power struggle when your child tries to lure you into a debate. Arguing with your child only helps delay how long they can put off following through with your instructions. So, rather than get into a lengthy debate, enforce consequences if they are not compliant.2
Selective ignoring is another way to take back the parenting power. If you simply don’t acknowledge the disrespect, your child will figure out quickly that it’s not going to get your attention or change the circumstances.
Simply look in the other direction or walk away without saying a word. This is an effective message when you know your child is trying to get your attention and their words are meant to shock you. The lack of response will send the message that inappropriate words won’t get the attention they are looking for.1 Re-engage again when they start to behave appropriately. And when everyone is calm, hold a conversation about the importance of using kind and nice words toward one another.
Provide a Single Warning
Sometimes kids need a reminder that sarcastic responses aren’t appropriate. So whether your child says, “Duh, Mom, you’re such a loser,” or mumbles, “Whatever” under their breath, address it. Stay calm, and say, “That’s inappropriate. If you are disrespectful again, we’re going to go home.”
It’s especially important to address your child’s sassy comments if they are showing off in front of guests or trying to look cool in front of friends. Make it clear that you aren’t willing to tolerate that type of disrespect and tell them what will happen if they do it again.
Follow Through With a Consequence
If your child’s sass doesn’t stop after a warning, or if they said something extremely inappropriate, follow through with a consequence.4 Appropriate consequences might include leaving the playground or friend's home immediately, a time-out, or loss of privileges.
Make sure the consequence is time-sensitive. Telling your child you’re going to take away their trip to Grandma’s house next week isn’t likely to be effective. Find something that will work right now, so they will think twice about being disrespectful next time.
Model Respect
Make a household rule that emphasizes the importance of treating other people with kindness and respect. Then, make sure you follow that rule as well. If your child regularly sees you giving sass to those around you, whether it’s your significant other, your mother, or a restaurant server, don’t expect to tame their mouth. Model respectful, polite language in all aspects of your life.
Respond to sass with respectful behavior as well. Stay calm and use polite words to address misbehavior. Show your child how to deal with anger and frustration in a socially appropriate manner. While you might have to get somewhat used to sassy comebacks, as they’ll probably pop up through your child’s teenage years, rest assured that it’s likely a phase. Do what you can to minimize the backtalk, but keep in mind that other parents are dealing with the same issue as you.
It’s common for kids to revert to baby talk at one time or another. Preschoolers often regress to using a baby voice as part of their normal development. And sometimes, older grade school kids may sound like babies again for a period of time.
Kids may regress with other behaviors too. A backslide during potty training, biting their nails again after they have stopped, or resorting to aggression long after they learned to use words are just a few other phases your child might go through.
Respond to a Child Who Talks Like a Baby
Although listening to baby talk can be annoying, it's likely to just be a phase. With a few simple interventions, you can curb the bad habit before it gets out of control. Usually, it resolves relatively quickly with appropriate intervention.
Rule Out Underlying Problems
Baby talk shouldn't be a huge cause for concern. Sometimes it stems from a stressful situation, such as having a new baby in the home. Other times, children revert to baby talk because they miss being a young child and they want to be coddled again. If you have a toddler who is getting lots of attention for using their words, your older child might be trying to get attention with baby talk.
There are times, however, when baby talk might signal a more serious problem, such as a speech delay or another developmental problem.1 See your pediatrician to ensure that your child is on track.
If your child’s baby talk is combined with other regressive behaviors, such as bedwetting, seek professional help. Sometimes, traumatic events or mental health issues can trigger a child to regress.
Downplay It
Making a big deal out of baby talk might encourage your child to continue doing it. Don’t bring up the subject when your child’s not using baby talk, and make sure your child doesn't overhear you complain about her baby voice to anyone else.
Instead, remain calm. Intervene in a direct and straightforward manner. Even though it can be irritating, don’t let your child know the baby talk drives you crazy. Otherwise, they may continue doing it just to get more attention.
Ignore It
When your preschooler asks you a question in a baby voice, you might pretend you can't hear them. As soon as they use their normal voice, pay attention and respond.
Sometimes baby talk becomes a habit and kids aren’t even aware when they’re doing it. A reminder such as, “Use your big kid voice,” can be helpful. You can also say, “I don’t understand baby talk. Use your big kid voice to tell me what you want.”
If your grade-schooler is using baby talk, you might point out the emotions that could be behind the choice. Say something like, "I notice you are using a baby voice to tell me what happened in school today. I wonder if you are feeling anxious about it and it's hard to talk about?" With support, your child can learn to verbalize how they're feeling, rather than showing you by using baby talk.
Praise Good Behavior
One of the best behavior modification techniques is to provide positive attention for appropriate behavior. Catch your child using a normal voice and provide praise. Say something such as, “I like it when you use your big kid voice to ask me for something.”
Attention and praise provides kids with positive reinforcement for using their normal voices. This strategy can encourage them to keep it up when they realize that it is the best way to get your attention.
Teach Your Child New Skills
Baby talk can signal that your child needs help with learning new skills. For example, if your child is using baby talk in an attempt to socialize with other children, they may benefit from learning new social skills.
Sometimes children use baby talk to try to convince parents they can’t complete a difficult task. For example, a 6-year-old might stand next to the buffet at a family gathering and say, “Me want food,” because they are nervous about trying to serve themselves.
In this case, teach your child a better way to handle the situation. Say, "It seems like you're feeling unsure about what to choose. What can you say so we know you need help?" Then, walk through strategies they can use to get their needs met in a more appropriate manner.
No matter which type of discipline you use with your child, the ultimate goal of your parenting strategy should be to teach your child self-discipline.
Self-discipline helps kids delay gratification, resist unhealthy temptations, and tolerate the discomfort needed to reach their long-term goals. From choosing to turn off the video game to work on homework, to resisting an extra cookie when Mom isn't looking, self-discipline is the key to helping kids become responsible adults.
It's important to give kids the skills they need to develop self-discipline as well as an opportunity to practice making good choices.
1
Provide Structure
ranplett / Vetta / Getty Images
Create a similar schedule every day and your child will get used to the routine. When they know what they are supposed to be doing, they will be less likely to get derailed by other activities.
A good morning routine helps kids know when it's time to eat breakfast, comb their hair, brush their teeth, and get dressed. A good after-school routine teaches kids how to divide their time between chores, homework, and fun activities. And a consistent bedtime routine will help kids settle down and fall asleep faster.
Keep your child's routines simple. With practice, your child will learn to implement the routine without your assistance.
Instead of saying, “Do your homework now because I said so,” explain the underlying reason for the rule.
Say, “It’s a good choice to do your homework first and then have free time later, as a reward for getting your work done.” This helps your child to understand the underlying reasons for your rules. Instead of saying, "My mom said I have to do this," your child will understand the rules serve a purpose.
Of course, you don't want to launch into lengthy lectures that will bore your child. But a quick explanation about why you think certain choices are important can help your child understand choices better.
3
Give Consequences
Sometimes, natural consequences can teach some of life's greatest lessons. A child who constantly forgets to grab their jacket as they run out the door won't learn if a parent always delivers their jacket to the school. Facing the natural consequences of their behavior (like feeling cold at recess) might help them remember to get their coat next time.
At other times, kids need logical consequences. A child who plays too rough with their mother’s computer might learn to be gentler when they lose computer privileges. Or a child who has trouble getting up in the morning may need an earlier bedtime that night.
It’s important to avoid power struggles. Trying to force your child to do something won't teach self-discipline.
Explain what the negative consequences will be if your child makes a poor choice. Then, let your child make the choice.
Say, "When you pick up your toys, you'll have more time to play outside." Follow through with a consequence if they don't pick up, but don't yell or try to force them into compliance.
Keep in mind that kids need to learn how to make healthy decisions on their own, by examining the potential consequences of their behavior.
Instead of expecting a 6-year-old to suddenly be able to do their entire morning routine without any reminders, use a picture chart on the wall that depicts combing hair, brushing teeth, and getting dressed. You can even take pictures of your child doing these activities and create your own chart.
When necessary, provide reminders to your child to look at the chart until they are able to look at the chart and do each task on his own. Eventually, they will need fewer reminders and won’t require the chart at all.
Any time your child is learning a new skill or gaining more independence, help them do so one small step at a time.
5
Praise Good Behavior
Provide positive attention and praise whenever your child demonstrates self-discipline. Point out the good behavior you want to see more often. For example, instead of saying, "Good job not hitting your brother when you were mad," say, "Good job using your words to solve the problem."
Sometimes good behavior goes unnoticed. Giving kids praise for making good choices increases the likelihood that they’ll repeat that behavior.
Provide praise when kids do things without requiring reminders. Say, “Great job sitting down to do your homework before I even told you to!” or “I’m so proud that you chose to clean your room today all on your own.” Even saying, “Great job putting your dish in the sink when you were done eating,” can encourage a repeat performance.
6
Teach Problem-Solving Skills
Teach problem-solving skills and work together to correct specific issues related to self-discipline. Sometimes, asking kids what they think would be helpful can be an eye-opening experience that can lead to creative solutions.
There may be a fairly simple solution to a behavior problem. A child who struggles to get dressed in time for school may benefit from having their outfit picked out the night before. Setting a timer for five minutes might also keep them on task.
More complex problems may require a series of trial and error type interventions. A teenager who isn’t getting their homework done may need several changes before they become more motivated to get their work done on their own. Try removing a privilege. If that doesn’t work, try having them stay after school to see if they can get their work done before they come home.
Keep trying different solutions until you can find something that works while keeping your child involved in the process.
7
Model Self-Discipline
Kids learn best by watching adults. If your child sees you procrastinating or choosing to watch TV instead of doing the dishes, they’ll pick up on your habits. Make it a priority to model self-discipline.
Pay attention to areas where you might struggle with discipline. Perhaps you spend too much money or lose your temper when you're angry. Work on those areas and make it clear to your child that you seek to do better.
A reward system can target specific behavior problems. A preschooler who struggles to stay in their own bed at night may benefit from a sticker chart to motivate them. An older child who struggles to do homework on time and get chores done may benefit from a token economy system.
Reward systems should be short-term. Phase them out as your child begins to gain self-discipline.
Keep in mind that there are plenty of rewards that don’t cost money. Use extra privileges, like electronics time, to motivate your child to become more responsible.
Kids between the ages of 6 and 9 can be a lot of fun. But, they can also be a challenge. Their sophisticated skills will require you to possess some more sophisticated strategies to discipline them.
Fortunately, the strategies you use to address behavior problems now can teach your child valuable life lessons.
Illustration by Emily Roberts, Verywell
Typical School-Age Kid Behavior
No longer a “little kid” and not yet able to keep up with the “big kids,” your school-age child’s behavior is likely to reflect a transitional period of development.
By and large, school-age kids are able to demonstrate prolonged concentration and will have greater patience when facing obstacles and setbacks. Their attention spans will be longer as well as their ability to focus on multiple activities
They also have better cognitive and physical skills and are able to perform everyday tasks more readily. This translates to less frustration and better self-control as they learn to juggle school, social life, and home life with greater ease.
With that being said, this period of child development is one in which kids tend to test boundaries. Your school-age child is likely to whine and may still exhibit an occasional meltdown although full-fledged temper tantrums will be less common.1
Behavior problems such as talking back may take on a whole new meaning as children become more articulate and able to express their thoughts.
Many school-age kids crave a fair amount of independence. But, you might find that despite knowing the skills you've taught, your child might forget to use them sometimes.
Whether he gets swept up in teasing another child or repeatedly forgets to feed the cat, there's a good chance many of their social, emotional, and behavioral skills will need some fine-tuning.
Typical Behavior
Longer attention span
Better self-control
Testing boundaries
Wanting independence
Challenging Behavior
Defiance
Lying
Sibling rivalry and fighting
Dawdling
Whining
Common Challenges
Along with the wonderful milestones your school-age child will meet, there is also the less-pleasant emergence of common behavior problems for this age group.
While child-discipline issues, such as defiance and back talk, may have cropped up at earlier ages in a child, these behaviors take on an entirely more challenging aspect as children become older, more verbal, and more independent.
Defiant behavior is common among school-age children. So don’t be surprised if your child tests your responses by refusing to do almost everything you ask. Usually, defiance is a phase that comes and goes for a bit throughout childhood.
School-age children are likely to lie sometimes too.1 Whether they’re trying to present themselves in a favorable light by bragging about something that didn’t really happen, or they’re lying in an attempt to avoid getting in trouble, lying can become a bad habit if it’s left unaddressed.
As much as your children may love one another, sibling rivalry and fighting is a very common part of many sibling relationships. Whether your child still gets aggressive with his siblings or he’s constantly tattling on them, sibling rivalry is bound to occur.1
Dawdling can be another frustrating behavior. Whether your child takes 10 minutes to put on his shoes or he’s the world’s slowest eater, dawdling can be frustrating.
Whining can also be frustrating. It’s one of the most unpleasant sounds known to man. And many school-age kids have perfected the art.
Discipline Strategies That Work
A good discipline plan should include positive reinforcement as well as negative consequences. Reinforce the good behavior with praise and privileges and provide negative consequences when your child breaks the rules. Below are the most effective discipline strategies for school-age kids.
Praise Good Behavior
Provide genuine praise for your child’s efforts and you'll boost her confidence. Use praise to encourage her to keep trying, study hard, and do her best.2 Rather than saying, “Great job getting a 100 on your test,” say, “Good job studying so hard.”
Place Your Child in Time-Out
School-age kids aren’t too old for time-out. It can be a good consequence when your child needs to cool off or when she’s refusing to follow instructions.2
Use ‘Grandma’s Rule of Discipline’
A subtle change in the way you word your phrases turn a consequence into a reward. Rather than saying, "You can't ride your bike because your room is a mess," say, "You can ride your bike as soon as your room is clean.” Then, your child will learn he can earn privileges by making good choices.
Provide Logical Consequences
Use consequences that are directly related to your child’s offense.2 If your child refuses to get off the computer when you tell her to do so, take away her computer privileges for 24 hours.
Allow for Natural Consequences
Let your child face the consequences of her choices when it’s safe to do so. If your 9-year-old doesn’t pack her snack for the park when you tell her to do so, the consequence is she won’t have a snack to eat. She might remember to do so next time if she experiences the natural consequence.
Create a Token Economy System
Establish a simple token economy system that allows your child to earn chips or tokens for good behavior. Then, allow her to exchange those tokens for privileges, like time on her electronics or an opportunity to go on a special outing.3
Preventing Future Problems
School work becomes more demanding as your child gets older. Some behavior problems may stem from a child's frustration over not understanding the work. Many kids would rather have their peers view them as the "class clown" rather than the kid who can't do the math.
While behavior problems that stem from learning issues should still be addressed with consequences, you also need to address the underlying problem.
Help your child establish good habits that will help them be successful at school. Create a homework area, designate a homework time, and stay on top of your child's progress.
Minor concerns can be addressed through after-school time with a teacher or tutor. More significant concerns may lead to a diagnosis of a mental health issue such as ADHD or learning disability such as dyslexia.4
Seven-year-olds, eight-year-olds, and nine-year-olds may veer between bouts of brassy over-confidence and uncertainty and doubt about their own skills. They may compare themselves to their peers by saying, “He is better at drawing than I am” or “She is a better soccer player," so it's important to teach your child that with practice and effort, she can improve her skills.
Research shows an authoritative approach to parenting leads to the most successful outcomes in children. Establish high expectations for your child but give plenty of support and warmth.
Validate feelings and show empathy, but establish clear rules and give consequences when those rules are broken. Those efforts can help you become a more authoritative parent, which is key to helping your child become a healthy, responsible adult.
Children depend on adults for reassurance and security. One of the best ways to give your child a sense of security is by providing plenty of positive attention.
Set aside a few minutes each day to give your child your undivided attention. No matter how much they misbehaved, play a game, talk about your day, or play catch. By giving your child plenty of positive attention, you'll reduce attention seeking behaviors and your child will be more inclined to want to follow your rules when you maintain a healthy relationship.
Communication Tips
While you don’t want to have long drawn-out conversations that shame your child for misbehaving, brief chats about how to make better choices can be instrumental in helping your child learn.
Your child will be looking to you to learn how to deal with his emotions and difficult social situations so it’s important to stay calm when you’re communicating. Here are some strategies that communication tips that can help with your discipline plan:
Problem-solve together: When your child exhibits specific behavior problems, sit down and problem-solve the issue together. School-age kids can be very honest about what would help resolve the problem. Ask questions like, "This is the third time you've forgotten your homework. What would help you remember?"
Explain your rules: Provide a simple explanation for the reasons behind your rules. Talk about safety, health, morals, or social etiquette. Then, your child will understand you aren’t simply trying to make his life miserable, but instead, you want the best for him.
Encourage your child to express his feelings: Teach your child that feelings are OK. It’s what he does with those feelings that matters. Encourage him to express himself in healthy ways, by drawing, talking, or writing.
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