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Oct 1, 2018

If Your Ex Wants To Stay Friends With You, They’re Probably A Psychopath, Science Says

We’ve all heard an ex ask to “be friends” after a particularly brutal breakup, and we’ve all been in that situation where we’ve wondered what it really means. Well, apparently psychologists have been wondering the same thing, and they found a pretty shocking answer.
If you’ve wondered why someone would like to stay friends with their ex, know that psychologists have been wondering about the same thing. And what they have found out is pretty shocking.
In a recent study conducted by the scientists at Oakland University, a direct correlation has been discovered between bad personality traits like psychopathy and narcissism, and a person’s interest in maintaining expired relationships.

In other words, the people who are most likely to stay friends with an ex are narcissists and psychopaths.

So, if your ex wants to stay friends with you, please, know that you’re dealing with both a narcissist and a psychopath. Honestly, I wouldn’t like to know how someone who possesses these two traits would behave.
And the study showed that the reason for this is not that these people still love or care about you, but because they want to take advantage of you, or manipulate you.
Such people would like to stay friends with you because it’ll enable them to gain access to important things, such as money, information, or $.e.x.
It’s not a secret that narcissists hate to lose. And breakups are just one more thing added to the list of things they’ve failed at. They want to keep you in their social circle because it’ll help them keep their social standing.
Moreover, narcissists and psychopaths share one characteristic – they can’t stand the idea of their ex being in a relationship with another person. They want to be in constant control of your life. That’s why they’ll be charming and kind towards you so as to persuade you to stay friends with them. And in this way, it’ll be easier for them to manipulate you.

It’s not a bad idea to proceed with caution when it comes to an ex.

The findings offer some fascinating insight on human relationships, specifically when it comes to emotional turmoil. Experts say that maintaining a relationship after a falling out is difficult, especially because — surprise! — ulterior motives may be at play.
“[Exes] are less emotionally supportive, less helpful, less trusting, and less concerned about the other person’s happiness,” Juliana Breines, a social experience researcher and postdoctoral fellow at Brandeis University, wrote in a Psychology Today blog. “This is especially true, not surprisingly, for former partners who were dissatisfied with the romantic relationship, and in cases when the break-up was not mutual.”
That isn’t to say that all exes are terrible people only using you for their pleasure. It is very possible to have a cordial relationship with a former partner. The basic takeaway here is, if it doesn’t feel like a real friendship to you, or things ended badly, there could be a less-than-kosher reason your ex tries to maintain the connection.
Who wants to be a vehicle for someone’s personal gain, anyway? No thanks.
So, if you want to avoid the toxic trap of your ex and protect yourself from their harmful influence, make sure you don’t stay friends with them after the break – up. Instead, try to distance yourself from them as much as possible.

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